Your favorite quotes from South Park

You've got to hold the football like you would hold your lover. Gently, yet firmly. You wanna be both nurturing and clinging at the same time. Oh, yes. Just like making sweet love to the football. Be naughty with the football. Mmmm, spank it. Ever so gently. Spank it. Oh, uh, sorry, children.

S01E04 — Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride

So Jesus died and then three days later he had an erection.

S03E02 — Spontaneous Combustion

Now, wait a minute. I wanna clear the air here. We all know that pigeon was a whore. Raise your hand if you didn't sleep with that pigeon? [everybody around him raises his or her hand] Oh, whatever!

S03E05 — Tweek vs. Craig

[Repeated line, while hunting]
It's coming right for us.

S01E03 — Volcano