Mr. Garrison

I do not have sex with boys. I like men my own age. Ah! I mean I like women. Ah! What did I just say? I like titties!

S04E05 — Cartman Joins NAMBLA

Now, wait a minute. I wanna clear the air here. We all know that pigeon was a whore. Raise your hand if you didn't sleep with that pigeon? [everybody around him raises his or her hand] Oh, whatever!

S03E05 — Tweek vs. Craig

Stan: What's a homosexual?

Mr. Garrison: Well, Stanley, I guess you came to the right person. Sit down. Stanley, gay people, well, gay people are evil. Evil right down to their cold black hearts, which pump not blood like yours and mine, but rather a thick, vomitous oil that oozes through their rotten veins and clots in their pea-sized brains which becomes the cause of their Nazi-esque patterns of violent behavior. Do you understand?

S01E04 — Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride

We're gonna finish our lesson on great singers of the Baroque era. Now children, Nancy Sinatra was quite a choice piece of ass.

S01E10 — Damien

Okay, okay, I probably made love to your mother that night at the Drunken Barn Dance... but who here DIDN'T?

S01E13 — Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut